


the matter baby

by space_lions



Series: voltron meme team [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, M/M, also pidge uses she/her pronouns, im honestly not sure at this point, kind of a sequel/companion to my other crack fic, lance cant deal with feelings, will i ever write a serious fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_lions/pseuds/space_lions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wait. Before we take off, maybe we should try to find…” Lance paused for dramatic effect. “The <em>matter baby</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Based off of <a href="http://westerngenre.tumblr.com">westerngenre's</a> <a href="http://westerngenre.tumblr.com/post/147882676693/coran-from-a-distance-nothing-sweetie-whats-the">comic</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the matter baby

The keyboard clacked as Pidge tapped away on her laptop, attempting to hack into the Galra security system. Lance wasn’t even sure how she had even found an energy source to charge the computer- or connect to the Galra security system, for that matter- but apparently giant flying alien castles had power compatible with an old HP laptop...or something. 

“Alright, with this, we should be ready to go,” Pidge chirped, gently closing the laptop and beaming triumphantly at her grinning teammates. She rose from her seat on the floor and turned towards the glowing door. The rest of the team followed suit, but Lance put a hand on her shoulder and she froze. With all the seriousness he could muster, he forced the smile off of his face.

“Wait. Before we take off, maybe we should try to find…” Lance paused for dramatic effect. “The _matter baby_.”

Hunk immediately turned and glared at him. “ _Lance_.”

Pidge tilted her head to the side, puzzled. Lance struggled to keep a straight face as Pidge stood awkwardly, looking more confused than he had ever seen her. Hunk knew exactly what he was doing, so his only hope was Pidge or…

“Wait…” Keith muttered. Lance’s eyebrows rose and a hopeful smile snuck onto his face. _Come on…_

Time seemed to slow down as Keith turned to face Lance, a fringe of jet black hair falling between sparkling amethyst eyes, framing his face in a way that only Keith could pull off. “What’s the matter baby?”

Somewhere in Lance’s mind, he logged that his plan had worked and that Keith had indeed fallen for his prank. However, the only thing that he actually registered at that moment was Keith in all of his mulleted glory. The stars shone through the window behind Keith, illuminating his hair and creating a halo around his head. They twinkled like his deep, narrowed eyes, surrounded by impossibly perfect eyeliner. Even his stupid mullet looked decent curled up against the nape of his bare neck, a few strands glimmering in the light of the castle. Keith’s curious and sincerely concerned tone warmed Lance’s heart.

Lance opened his mouth, only for his jaw to slacken and freeze in place. He squeaked weakly and heat rushed to his face as he struggled to find any sort of words. His heart hammered in his chest, and he was certain the whole castle could hear it thudding against his ribcage. Beads of sweat formed on his face, slowly inching down until they fell off of the bridge of his crimson nose. Lance felt a sudden urge to run his hands through Keith’s dense, silky hair.

 _Gayyyyyy_ , Lance’s mind supplied helpfully.

“Oh boy,” he managed to wheeze.

Keith raised an eyebrow, becoming slightly more concerned for Lance’s sanity than he was before.

Coran’s voice sounded throughout the castle speakers. “Nothing sweetie, what’s the matter with you?”

Lance’s knees buckled and he toppled over, faceplanting on the floor and deciding it would be best to stay there for the next eternity or so.

  
  


The doors closed behind Lance as he was unceremoniously dragged out of Pidge’s room by a chuckling Hunk. Pidge opened up her laptop and searched “the matter baby” on Google (she would never reveal her secret of connecting to a search engine halfway across the universe). 12,700,000 results popped up.

**Author's Note:**

> pidge totally gets her revenge in the next fic that im planning
> 
>  
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought!
> 
> You can find me at [space-lions](http://space-lions.tumblr.com)


End file.
